Fallen Angel

She was magnificent. The sparkle in her eyes, the smile on her face. Nothing ever seemed to bother her. She was peaceful, she was always happy. This made me happy. She would dance and spin around, not caring who was looking. Her brown, curly hair would bounce around as she ran over to me. Bringing me over grabbing my hand the same familiar way she always does. She would smile and gently lean in for a kiss. It was snowing, the sky was littered with beautiful, delicate drops of fluffy crystal. It was dark, almost midnight. She felt as though the best time to dance was this time. She felt as though the best time to live was this time. I was never one to jump out of bed and run outside, she was though so that meant I was too. I would never understand her and me. We were polar opposites. She changed me. Took me away from the person I had dangerously become. She took away the white powdery substance, she took away the clear liquor, and took away my pain and anger. She sat with me as I withdrew. She would cry the nights I would seize, she would sit beside my bed wiping the sweat beading from my head and hold me as I shivered from a flash of cold. She was a kind girl.... not girl, woman. She was never a girl. She never had a childhood. She grew up too fast.Her innocence taken away at an early  age, exposed to too much anger and sexual frustration. You would expect someone unhappy to become of that young girl. Not her she took that pain and that suffering and turned it into a kind heart. One that would find a boy like me sitting in a bar buying a drink. One that he never really needed. She came in sad; the one time I have ever seen her sad. I asked her what’s wrong, and she told me. She told me everything, she took me home, and we have been inseparable since. She would never look at me as an addict, and when she found out she only kissed me and promised she would make it better... and she did. I never want to loose her, she has been the only good thing in my life, and I will love her forever because of this soul reason. She spinned around and I grabbed onto her, holding her tight. Her body small in my large frame. She almost melted into me. I could hear her giggling. Thats when she began to sob. Deep, shuddering sobs and she wouldn't stop. She turned into me and continued to cry and eventually lost her balance. She continued to cry on the snow covered ground. This is what I never wanted. She had a darkness in her. One that she only discovered recently. She wanted to live, she wanted to travel and become a better person by helping people. Why was she sad? The day I met her, her dad died. He was a horrible man but that didn’t matter to her. Why had he died? No one knows, until recently. She shivered and continued to sob, tears sprung from my eyes, she felt cold almost as if she was freezing in this one moment. Her father had overdosed and she had known for a long while. She had known for a long while it was because of the liquor and the voices talking to him. Little to her knowledge these voices, or single voice could be inherited. I had found myself walking into my home... our home and there she was curled up on the floor, a knife along her side and her tiny wrists sliced open. She was pale as most of her blood was being soaked into the tan colored carpet. She was crying, and when she saw me she stopped. She said she was sorry, she said they told her to do it. She said her father was back, he was trying to molest her again and she wanted to get away. She wanted to get the voices out and the only way to do this was by two single slits in her wrist. She did it and she said they were still there, and she just wanted them to go away. I called the ambulance and all the doctors said, is she has internalized much of her traumatic events and she needed to stop ignoring them. They said it has almost killed her, that know was the time to let go. And well, she did, but know she is sad, she is never happy. So, her lying on the snowy ground curled up in my arms soaked in her own tears, is who she really is. She whimpers and releases three words Leave me alone. And continued to cry, and cry, and cry.