Temporary

Everything feels incredibly temporary at the moment. My room, is in a temporary state of normal; what with the boxes and random crap stacked in my precious music corner. My daily routines seem to be just a stepping stone, and unimportant because of the 5 days I have left here......
5
Days
Shit.
You would think someone who has worked so hard for this day to be very excited and pleased with their success.
University.
The biggest step any teenager moving into adulthood will ever face.
I.
Am.
Scared.
Shitless.
Every night is becoming more and more difficult to sleep, because I am worrying about all the things that could happen, will happen, need to happen, and what is inevitably happening.
Each day I give myself a new task. A new job. Each of these jobs are related to me packing and getting ready to leave.
Leave.....
Right now almost 90% of 1995 babies around the world will be feeling the same way. They will be sitting in their room, staring at the large boxes, packed full of linen, and back to school supplies a) wondering how on earth they are going to fit all of this in their vehicles, b) what are they going to do without their parents, and c) am I truly ready for this.
Am I?
Jesus, you would think having two months to deal with these emotions would be more than enough time to become prepared for this. Nope. You will never be ready for this day until to months after the day itself. Growing up is full of trial and tribulations. However, most of all it's full of leaps of faith. And university is one of the big ones.
I am going to the University of Western Ontario, and I am excited, but I feel as though I am loosing something by going there.
I guess it's my childhood. It's my joy of being able to just worry about school work and holding a job together.
I've been talking to some of my younger friends. They are all going into grade 10, and they all seem to be having the same problem. They have a jelousy of me and a lot of their other university bound friends for their leaving, and soon to be new found freedom. Whenever I am approached with this conversation I always tell these youngins the same thing. Cherish this time, because trust me, you want to stay a child as long as you can. Why? Because the real world is a big ball of stress, upon anxiety, upon piles of poo, upon piles of experiences. And at the centre of this ball is a tiny core of excitement. Excitment for what is to come, and who you will become.
I am excited to go, to finally prove myself to particulary people that I am capable of living on my own, and keeping a relatively stable life, to meet new people, to become a new me, and most of all shake off all the dead weight I have accumulated over my time in public schooling.
So I sit here now, in my temporary room. The pale pink walls, plastered with posters and pictures of good times, the furniture placed neatly in it's respective spots covered with a thin layer of dust reminding me that soon this will only be a temporary place of rest, and that soon Western (London) will become my home, and leaving my residence for the summer will make me feel the same way I feel now. I will itch to go back, and stay up there.
Western! I am ready for you! :p



Originally Patience