Never have I Ever

How to be brave…. that is something so many of us strive to do. I can honestly say that my sister has achieved this with a gold medal. Not because she tried so hard but because she did it.
The thing about bravery is it's usually something that occurs from complete stupidity and manifests itself into an experience and further into something that is no longer unknown.
Bravery adapts its self through the discovery of the unknown… our fears.
There are so many people who look at those unknowns as a welcoming platform to expand their lives. These people who wish to do this are usually those who have never really looked at their lives in a positive way and wanted to see a way out. Looking for a way out usually becomes a way in. A way into the deeper selves they had lost touch with and now... here they are.
These fearless brave individuals we all watch the little 40 second youtube or vine clips of them doing amazing things. And as you sit their with your mouth wide open, palms sweaty, and just complete envy coursing through your veins do you ever think if you could do it.
Usually the first words that come out of someones mouth is, "Woow…. I could never do that"
Never.
Never is a poisonous word. Never, should be used as a swear word.
Why?
Why would I take such a strong opinion on this?
Because here I am in my room not having done anything today, trying to seek thrills from watching horror films, to afraid to go out into the world and do something remotely interesting.
Never is the word that has stopped me from making meaningful relationships with people. Never is the word that makes me push myself to the point of illness in my art because I do not believe that I will ever be good enough.
Never is the word that makes me think everyone hates me, and makes me believe that I am just one of those people meant to sit in my room and be the footstool for the rest of society.
Never is the word that so many people use and results in them pursuing dreams of some other strange person that also used the word never resulting in them forcing someone else to pursue their possible non-never.
NEVER
Never is a difficult word. Never is pessimistic, well rounded, and debilitating.
I like to say I will never gain the confidence like my sister and be able to travel around an island on my own and meet people and talk to them.
I like to say I will never be the best at what I do.
I like to say I will never be able to say I am a worthwhile person.
All of things are true to me. Why?
Because never made them absolute.
Never makes me feel as though these things are absolute. Maybe because they are… but I will never know if I keep saying Never.