Little Piece

The concept that we used to be our own people before we entered into this world is something I can't imagine. I think there was probably 2 years of our life where we thought of nothing but ourselves and what makes us happy, then it all ended. A Psychologist would say it's do to the egotistical behaviour we present during our development.
Me?
I think it all ended the moment we realized we aren't just an individual rather a part of a larger system.
Before I move on I want to give a disclaimer:
I do believe we are individuals and that there is something special inside of each and every one of us that makes us truly us. I believe that we develop in such a way that allows our inner personalities to become different and subjective but, there is a fleeting moment in everyones lives that this little piece of subjectivity is buried.
Buried in what?
Everything. Everything in society that hinders us to becoming individual beings. All the little social groups and institutions that we filter through every era of our lives. During each of these phases we end up in some sort of cohort that has a set of mores and norms that force us to suppress our little piece.
Like look at the school system. Whether it is catholic, public, private whatever it is all the same. We go to school, have some sort of a dress code, some sort of a healthy eating plan that forbids us to eat particular foods, and a curriculum that is designed by people to further suppress our piece by force feeding us these useless facts and figures that is considered needed for a "normal" development so when we go off into this synthetic"real world" we are well adjusted to these codes.
It's all total bull shit. Everyone wonders why there are wars and political tensions, or why some families just can't make it. Well let's start at the beginning and dissect this problem.
From day one you have no choice who's hands you are put into. All anybody could know your mother could be a wielding axe murderer who now has her hands on a young wielding axe murderer of her own. Right here you are already pre-determined to what opportunities you are going to get in life. And why is this?
Because of these norms and mores people are given labels based on how well they adjusted during the phases through each institution. So this baby is handed a little page that is sewn onto his piece that says: "Your mother was a wielding axe murderer and so you now carry that 'gene'".
Then this kid will go through school, and then university, and then a career, all the while carrying this little badge on their piece that slowly seeps into their blood flow creating a permanent connection to this label.
And just like that this baby doesn't get a change to grow.
Governments, schools, jobs, and communities all say they want to give their children, their employs and community members the best chance to thrive and lead the lives they want to live. But it's a lie. If that was actually the case we would have more freedoms and less constraints.
Things like taxes, money, expectations, job quality, job availability and quotas restrict any ability for human beings to be human because they have such a large list of shit to make sure they are checking of each day they never get chance to get to the end of that list and check off the be yourself box.
What I am saying is I am sick and tired of going into an institution and a job everyday worrying about what is going to thought of me is I swear, or disagree with someone, or say something or do something around me peers that is considered irregular.
I'm not blaming my peers because they are stuck in the same whirlpool as myself and same with the authority figures in my life too but, I have had so much crap in my life that I have realized it isn't because of the individual person, it's because of our fear that this little piece will come out and be too shocking for anyone else to see.
The days I try to push my piece to the surface are usually the worst because I feel vulnerable and I feel like it will mess up any chance of me leading a normal life.
From what I have seen realistically there are so many of us on this planet that when one of us does push that piece to the surface, no one actually cares. That is how insignificant we all are as individuals.
Why do I say that?
Because there are billions of us who are trying to define ourselves as individuals so why should one person matter if the rest of us are doing it.
It sucks and makes life stressful and sad, and hopeless to the point that some of us breaks. Like my family. We divorced, we separated, we yelled, we got sick, and cried all because of the outside pressure and the inability to handle it.
If only the world could give up on these norms and mores and realize our tiny little pieces are more important than what our boss or friends think, or what it would do for our future jobs.
I mean it is just a little piece....
Isn't it?