My Keeper

The night was young, and we hadn't even started. Maybe it was the perfume, or my clothes. Or maybe it was the pastel pink pills I took before starting my night, all I knew is I felt better than I had ever felt. We were all laughing and bouncing around on the subway. 2 stops away from our destination. Next stop Kennedy. Doors open, we all stumble out. Standing on an escalator all you could here was the sounds of the city slowly crawling into your ears the higher you got. We stepped off the escalator, took a couple more steps and we were there. I stood there looking up at the bright shining lights. They seemed to glimmer and jump out to touch the tip of my nose. I giggled and spun around. When I stopped I came face to face with him. I forgot he was even with me. I forgot who we were. I just looked at him and smiled, he reached for my hand and wrapped his fingers around mine. He led me through different alley ways until we reached the club. You could here the base, and feel it in the ground. As we walked by the entrance I flashed a smile at the bouncers and winked. He smiled back and told me to come back. He opened the gate for me, and we both walked into the blackened doorway.
You had to walk down metal stairs dimly lit by black lights. I looked into his eyes and they were shining so brightly. I reached my fingers to his eyes and traced around his lids. I was focused, I wanted to touch but was reminded as to how pressure and delicate the blues of his eyes were. My fingers traced around his lips, this time reminding myself the possibilities coming from them. As he parted his lips I moved forward and slipped into place. His hands pulling my hips close towards his own body. My hands tracing his shoulders and back. The tickle inside my stomach came back and I leaned back and laughed. He took my hand and dragged me through the plastic curtains into the club. The lights were throbbing and you could no longer hear anything except the screams of enjoyment and the music. The music flowed through me and altered my heart beat. I looked around and smiled. He met my eye and dragged me into the centre of the crowd. Everyone was moving, you couldn't help but move yourself to their rhythm. We were all in unison no matter how chaotic it all looked. We all had the same purpose. I looked up and the lights were moving like shooting stars. I put my hands up and screamed. Screamed because the tickling in my stomach turned into a burning. The burning reminding me of everything I was here for. Everything i was scared for.
I loved him, he never seemed like the person I ever thought he would be. But I would remind myself, love concurs all, no matter how horrible the other is. His hands traced my body,  rubbing over the places of pain. The places he knew all too well. My shoulders shaking because of the worry of another bruise. Explaining them was easy, I bumped into a door knob, I tripped down the stairs. What they really were? The one on my hip in the shape of a glass? That was from burning dinner. The deep twisting scar on my stomach to my side? A night of drinking. Each "accident" weakens my body and soul. Each one causing me to question my being, my purpose. Those shiny happy pills were something that I would never take. He offered and I accepted. If I had said no, the repercussions were to daunting to even consider no.
The song changed over, and the burning in my stomach reached to my throat. Everything began to blind me, everything began to hurt. Every touch movement and breath ripped me through the centre only causing me to scream more. I looked out for the nearest exit. I turned around and whispered into his ear I needed air. He gave me a stern look and held onto my wrist. That was all the answer I needed. I looked into his eyes and saw the same person I saw when they first laid their hands on me. I softened my face, trying not to show the fear creeping into my spine. I whispered to him again, saying I felt ill. He looked at me and gave a sharp sigh. I winced. I knew if I went outside something would happen, but the burning hurt to much and my legs were week. He grabbed my arm and led me out. I kept on falling over, he told me to stop being stupid. We reached the exit and he pushed the door open and threw me out. I stumbled to the closest wall and held on. The burning stopped as fresh air reached my lungs. I breathed in clarity and breathed out hell. When I opened my eyes he was standing there with a cigarette in his mouth complaining that I was too needy. The pills were getting to him. His tone was becoming too loud.
Times like these made me wonder why I loved him so much. Made me wonder why I stayed. Then I thought; well I have no where to go. My parents were no better.
He was yelling now and I was shivering. I don't think it was because I was cold. He kicked a garbage can and was screaming at me. He raced over and trapped me against the wall. His angry words tasted like venom as they reached me. I was wincing, waiting for the first hit. He kept on screaming calling me names, then he took his cigarette out of his mouth and stubbed it out on my throat. I moaned in pain, as the butt burnt into my skin. Tears began to stain my cheeks. I hated crying in front of him, it only made him more mad. He punched my stomach, telling me to stop crying. I cried out in pain. He told me to shut up, and get up. He called me a child. His eyes were redder than usually. There was something about him tonight that seemed uneven. It was when he finally stopped talked and breathing heavy that I knew this was not a normal day. He was pacing and as I got up he raced towards me and his fist met my face. I fell down, he got on top of me and punched me over and over. Each time a bright light flashed in my vision. Each time it got brighter and brighter. He got up and started kicking me in the stomach. My breathing started to get harder, the light growing brighter and brighter. I opened my eyes and he was in front of me telling me I did this, this was my fault. He got up and kicked me in the stomach one last time, and something popped. My eyes shot open and a scream escaped from my mouth. The tears flowed mercilessly down my face as I drew in my breath. I could hear sirens in the distance. He looked at me, then the blood on his hands. The man I loved ran. Ran away from me. My breath was taken away, I closed my eyes and could hear the sirens get closer, but the light was already there. A smile flashed across my face. I realised that he was gone. That I was no longer under the gripping hands of my keeper. He was gone and I was free. Some would say I died, but to me I became free. I was finally the woman I was before I met him  and I would become the woman I had always wanted to be, free.