Hey hi. I feel hung over today. I feel absolutely terrible. I feel raw and sore. Nothing caused it, nothing happened. I just broke. I felt like I snapped in half. I could feel it in my brain. I shreiked in pain and just collapsed. I was in the dark. It's never good. I can't look at myself so I turn off all the lights and just sit. Sometimes it seems too unbearable to turn on the lights and face reality. Darkness is the one place where you can escape and feel beautiful and be a whole new person in a whole new world.
It was hard, nothing would get past my lips and when they did it stung the back of my throat like I was breathing acid. Every time I'd get up and move something would hit me and I'd fall. Each thing that hit me hurt worse than the one before it. I was cripled. I'm bruised and ill.
The worst thing happened to me last night. I dreamed about it. IT scares me because it is all coming back. I dreamt about it in Agugust and know I'm dreaming about it today. This time I was at my dad's and I went up to my room, and there was blood flowwing down the stair like a waterfall. My feet slowly became tainted with the empty blood, and when I got up the stairs I couldn't breath. It was horrifying. The bed was stained by blood and nothing resembled itself. A crumpled body was lying on the bed, with open sores bleeding. I looked into their eyes as they looked up at me, and they were empty. There was nothing in them. I yelled, "What did you do!" I ran over to the open sored body and as I came close they were everywhere. Open sores everywhere. You couldn't see the fair skin that used to be there. Everything was a firey helpless red and as I touched the body it disapeared. All that was left in the room was the metallic smell of blood and the disaster chewing on the walls and bloody floor. I looked at my hands and they were soaked in blood. I don't understand what happened next because I woke up but, I heard something behind me, and when I turned around I was on the bed soaked in blood and cuts looking right at her. Except she still had empty eyes the haunted ever aspect of my life. I woke up in a sweat and couldn't get back to sleep so, I just went down stairs.
I think I had around five hours of sleep last night. Everything just went so wrong, and today. I'm in pain and I feel sick.
Originally Patience
Thing to do today, wake up, wake up.... wake up.
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