Last night I finally talked. I told my mom everything that I wrote in my blog. I couldn't hold it in anymore so, I told her. I haven't said everything I wanted to say but, I said enough. She thinks I am depressed, she said she'll take me to the doctors. I don't want to go to the doctors because he will only perscribe me medication that I don't need. I feel like mentally, I am strong enough to get through this myself. Medication will only make me feel weak. I just need to talk that is all. My mom said when I come back next week I'll start going to therapy. I am happy that I am finally getting therapy.
The reason why I never talked is because I was used to not being listened to. There is alot of explaination to this: Parents don't listen. They don't listen because when they see thier child crying or sad, they just want to comfort you. It's in their nature, they can't help it. They will say anything they can to make you feel better. When you try to tell them they interupt you saying there is nothing to be sad about, and they are there for you. I can tell my parents love me alot because I can never tell them what I need to because they are trying to make me feel better. I love them for that. I love them for never letting me get a words in edge wide. LOL! I love them for that really.
I feel like I need to talk to someone who doesn't know me. They will just listen and understand me. When you talk to someone who doesn't know you, they won't coax you into saying something, they will just wait. They won't say anything. The silence between you and that person will get so intence that you finally say something. It could be one word, or your whole life story.
I'm not sad tonight, I'm confused. I'm confused because I'm not sure how I feel. I feel like I want to be happy but, sometimes I just start crying, and I don't like. I don't have any control over it. I will count to ten and it won't work at all. Sometimes I feel like I haave zero control over my emotions.
I am watching the most horrific movie on Earth! They filmed the whole thing in Canada but, they are trying to make it seem like a small town in Pennsilvyania. The filmed near Castleoma -.-. Unbelivable. I mentioned this in my other blog, Canada has a tendancy to either produce amazing things or really bad things. Never inbetween. The movie is about a horrifying metal tornade that terrorizes through a small town. The wounds even look fake. They painted a guys shirt red... I mean come on if you are going to make a bad movie, make the wounds look gorie and nasty. That's what I like about zombie movies. The movie might be terrible but, the zombie's look legit and the eating of flesh looks awesome.
One more random thing. In Canada, for the last week we have had temperatures of 30-48 degree's celcius. IF I SEE ONE MORE FACEBOOK STATUS ABOUT THE HEAT I WILL GO INSANE!!!! YES IT IS HOT! I HAVE BEEN OUTSIDE I KNOW SO, I DON'T NEED TO SEE EVERY SINGLE STATUS SAYING, MAN IT IS TOO HOT... god. -.-
I needed to vent about that. LOL! You all need to chill about the heat. Canadians are either complaing about the heat, or the cold. There is never any end.
So that is it for today. For all those in different countries, enjoy your temperatures. Try not to complain, enjoy it. I hope you all have an awesome week (if it isn't the weekend for you, have a good week). Once again thank you all for reading, I really appreciate it.
Originally Patience
Thing to do today, watch a terrible movie and laugh.
Music Clip (to me it is my summer anthem)
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